ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Prominent broadcaster Alan Jones is retiring and his 2GB station-mate Ben Fordham is set to replace him.
As Alan begins his descent into obscurity, Fordham has to decide between kissing Alan’s ring, skinning his career’s corpse then simply wearing that skin to work each day and pretend to be him – or take that ring to the summit of Mount Doom and cast it into the fiery depths.
When asked by our reporters this morning, Mr Fordham said he was looking forward to the new challenges and responsibilities of being 2GB’s monetary Clydesdale.
“Wowee, Alan Jones! What a career!” he said without prompting.
“Yep, what an innings! Oh yeah, great job! [laughs] Shiver-me-timbers! 35 years on the radio! That’s a big three-five, Cowboyroonis!”
“I’m looking forward to making this role my own and wish Alan all the best in retirement! Jesus and his Dad know he’s deserved it!”
Nevertheless, Mr Fordham continued, saying he hasn’t yet decided whether he’s going to kiss Alan’s ring or take if for a drive up to Mount Doom.
“Are we allowed to go to Mount Doom yet? How far is it again? I don’t want to do anything illegal like drive across the state to destroy an all-powerful ring that makes you the king of Australian media,” he said.
“Do I want Chris Masters to write a book about me? God, he might find out about the time I frisbee’d Lenny Stevens’ boater hat out the school bus window on the way to Head of the River! I’d be ruined if that got out!”
“Anyway kiddoroonskis, I’ll be sure to let you know what I decide on!”
“Ciao for now! [laughs]”
More to come.
