ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The nation’s greatest economic managers are hoping to force our banks to lend money to mining projects that the banks themselves have deemed to be a poor investment.
Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has backed the move, telling The Advocate today via telephone that just because a bank thinks climate change will hurt their profits, doesn’t mean they can pick and choose what they invest in.
“This probe is about levelling the playing field,” said Josh.
“We’ve already subsidised the mining industry to the point where we can’t really do any more, so in order to cover the gap, we need the banks to step in,”
“But what are Australian banks heavily shackled to? Property. Climate change, if it exists, will do nothing but damage property. What happens when property is damaged? It’s worth less than if it wasn’t damaged. What happens when you have hundreds of billions of dollars of debt tied up in property that’s being damaged by extreme weather and global warming? Bad, bad shit,”
“So it’s little wonder why banks don’t want to lend to things that kill the planet. But that’s not my problem. My problem making sure our donors are happy.”
The CEO of Diamantina Credit Union, the region’s largest mortgage lender, echoed Mr Frydenberg’s sentiments.
“We’d invest in childhood cancer if we could turn a profit from it,” laughed Greg Daniel from DCU.
“Just kidding but seriously. None of us wants to invest in this mining shit anymore. Customers don’t want it, it’s bad for our bottom line. It’s just the government has a serious horn dog for it for some reason,”
“Still, I don’t see this as any reason why we’d need a federal ICAC.”
More to come.
