6 December, 2016. 19:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A WINDORAH MAN ON a Buck’s Weekend in Sydney was arrested by police overnight after he tried to order five bourbon and cokes in one order.
Plain-clothed detectives from the Kings Cross LAC detained the man when bar staff alerted the authorities that a ‘happy-go-lucky-desert-man’ was about to do some serious drinking, which has since been outlawed in the former nightlife district.
Taking inspiration from the timeless, classic television advertisement from yesteryear, Gordon Coleman strutted up to the bar inside the Broken Teapot Nitespot to shout the boys a round of corn juice and cola.
“Five Cougars, thanks love,” said the 25-year-old helicopter mechanic.
However, just as he smiled and winked at barmaid Emma Goldeen-Shayne, she pushed a panic button under the bar which alerted police.
“His rough hands, jet-black chest hair and faded stripey shirt were all warning signs. His sharp five o’clock shadow was much more intimidating that the fluff you get one some Darlinghurst gender-bender,” she said. “Ordering five bourbons at once is a giant red flag and is currently outlawed in NSW. I had no choice but to inform the police.”
Mr Coleman was released on bail this morning after facing the magistrate this morning.
He was charged with reckless intent to get intoxicated, intoxicated while in a pub and unprovoked winking at a hospitality professional.
An official from the NSW Police explained that Mr Coleman had strayed outside the ‘Approved Drinks List’ for the greater Kings Cross lock-out precinct.
“Had he ordered five negronis or espresso martinis, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But the fact remains that he did try to order Cougar bourbon, which is currently outlawed in the more cosmopolitan areas of Sydney,” said Detective Alice Frogmass.
“It’s a shame he didn’t follow the rules.”
Due to face court in January, Coleman said he’s been instructed by his lawyer not to comment on the case as he left the Surry Hills watchhouse this afternoon.
More to come.
anyway its cougar and cokes you dipshits