KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT
A succulent serving of schadenfreude has been dished up to Betoota Ponds man this week after he got a little too cocky about his immune system.
Craig Dunstan, a 33-year-old tiler, has all winter been bragging to his mates about his ability to dodge the flu, a topic he’s gloated about since May.
Such was his confidence that he’s immune to whatever snotty, murky fever that’s being spread around town, Craig’s been spotted heading to the shops in footy shorts and a singlet well after the sun goes down.
But the bravado of the man has come crashing down like a leaning tower of Kleenex tissues this week, as The Advocate confirms he’s caught “the bad one”.
Now lying horizontal on the couch nursing a raw throat and a bulging headache that’s thumping like a subwoofer inside a 2008 Subaru WRX, Craig has told our reporter that this is the worst cold he’s ever been bitten with.
“Can you put the kettle on, I need another cup of Lemsip” Craig requested, as he blew a load of green gunk into a twice used tissue.
“This isn’t a cold, it’s the black plague…”
With no chance of returning to work this week, it’s believed Craig’s co-workers are pretty stoked that the flu that’s been through everyone in town has finally come to put him on his arse.
Speaking to Craig’s boss Geoff, the rotten mix of symptoms were bound to come at him with a vengeance.
“The bloke lives on margarine sandwiches and energy drinks, he wouldn’t have a single vitamin in his system,” Geoff told our reporter, “Yet he’s gone around the last month calling anyone taking a sick day a sook.”
“Everyone at work has already had it, so hopefully it’s picked up some extra spice and really belts him for six.”
“He wouldn’t accept the free flu shot the company offered him anyway, so it serves him right for thinking he’s bulletproof.”
