CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A loud bloke wearing his Akubra inside a cute regional Victorian pub actually isn’t running any cattle, it has been confirmed.
Well, he might be, but if he does own cattle it’s on a property managed by a local bloke – because he has smoother hands than Joe Hockey.
Looking more like a member of INXS when they bended into the 1994 Countdown Awards, Toorak man Lewis Maglachlan has revealed himself to be either a tourist or a hobby farmer.
Aside from the fact he’s wearing a jet black woomera indoors, and is talking about 30 decibels louder than anyone else, and is wearing a pair of RMs without any creases in them – the main signifier that this bloke is a concrete cowboy is the fact he’s wearing a full-length Dryzabone, in a town that never sees snow.
“YEAH JUST A PINT A VB THANKS LOVE” he yells at the 19-year-old bartender in his outside voice.
“Jeez this part of the world is looking green for this time of the year. Whatever happened to climate change HAHAHAHHAHA”
Try as they may, some of the locals perched at the bar are unable to avoid engaging with the Inner-Melbourne trust fund baby.
“Where are you from mate?” asks one of the locals.
“Ahhh” he says.
“I’m from round these parts I guess you could say, but yeah, been living in the city for a while now”
“Good to be back”
“I’LL TELL YA THAT FOR FREE”
When another one of the locals points out that he’s lived here his whole life and he doesn’t remember seeing Lewis before, the room goes quiet.
“Ahh yeah” he says.
“Bloody been in lockdown in Melbourne”
“Bloody dictator Dan. Haha”
MORE TO COME.
