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Brisbane City Council has this week promised that they will begin the detailed design of a planned green bridge between Toowong and West End before the end of 2023.
While early artist impressions show some sort of ‘boat sails’ inspired design, it has not yet been confirmed whether or not this bridge will be a mighty Bridge like the Indooroopilly Bridge, or a cowardly bridge like the Goodwill Bridge – which was named after the brief rival to the Olympics, the Goodwill Games, which was hosted in Brisbane in 2001, a year after the success of the Sydney Olympics, and was by far the stupidest idea Brisbane ever had.
However, the Brisbane City Council insist that the days of stupid ideas are behind them, and they haven’t had a stupid idea since they stopped hosting marathons down the carbon dioxide filled empty Clem7 tunnel.
In fact, Brisbane officially became a real city the day the named their most recent bridge after a rock band, The Go-Between Bridge.
But they aren’t done with bridges, the council has plans to build four green bridges across the city – committing $550 million towards the projects, and suddenly bringing it up now in an effort to blackmail both sides of state politics to commit the rest of the funding as an election promise before Queenslanders head the ballot next year.
The Toowong to West End footbridge has sparked mild excitement amongst the Brisbane’s alcoholics and uni students, who look forward to riding motorised scooters as fast as humanly possible between two of the pissiest suburbs in the city.
Early names flagged for the Toowong Bridge include: The Butterfingers Bridge, The Wayne Bennett Bridge, The Meninga Overpass – or the frontrunner, The Stefan Ackerie Aquaduct.
The other planned bridges include a bridge linking Kangaroo Point to the CBD and another link between Breakfast Creek and the Valley, which are also extremely boozy pub precincts and will likely becomes hosts to hilarious drag racing events between the city’s drunkest humans on e-scooters.
