ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Greg Costigan has told our reporters today that he’s put his right hand up, said ‘Down there, Peter Tosh. Aisle 4 right at the end,’ and laughed to himself about a dozen times today.
The 41-year-old semi-retired author works at Bunnings when he’s battling writer’s block.
And recently, he’s been run off his feet at the Betoota Heights Bunnings because every smooth-handed poon in the postcode has come down to pick up a few things to mutilate their house with.
“You should see these useless looking bastards coming in, looking lost. Not knowing their eucalyptus oil from their urea,” he said.
“They’re all after the same thing. They come up to me and they’re like, ‘Hey dude, can you direct me to your finest garden house?’ then they just blind a few times and I reply with what I just told you, earlier,”
“At least the bastards aren’t taking hose from their neighbours. I live down in Betoota Ponds, home of the shrinking garden hose. It’s like those things you used to paint and put in the oven and they’d shrink but it’s a hose and all my neighbours are drug addicts.”
More to come.
