ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The US Central Intelligence Agency has revealed their disappointment this morning at news that a group of local scientists have managed to replicate their ‘coronavirus’ under laboratory conditions.
This latest development is a critical breakthrough in the quest for a vaccine, the report says, which is needed more than ever.
Over a hundred people have died from the highly-contagious virus and health authorities expect that number to jump in coming days. Swathes of people across the globe are infected with the virus although local health organisations ‘aren’t super concerned at the moment’.
Nevertheless, this medical triumph by the Australians has sent shockwaves through the CIA’s headquarters in Langley.
A spokesman for America’s most-famous foreign intelligence agency spoke briefly to the media in the lobby of their Virginia compound.
“Obviously, this is disappointing news for us,” they said.
“This is the latest in a string of viruses and diseases we’ve attempted to inject into China. You all remember SARS and the various avian and swine flus. Ebola wasn’t us, but. That was flat out from eating infected chimp meat, which is delicious I can see why it spread so quickly. Very gamey. High in protein and iron. Anyway,”
“Ah, I guess we’ll have to go back to the drawing board.”
More to come.
