The most successful multicultural nation in the world is going to get a bit more multicultural over the weekend, as almost 13,000 people from 129 different nationalities become Australian citizens in ceremonies across the country.
Most ceremonies will be held on the January 26th, however some councils elect to host theirs a day later, in respect to the Indigenous population.
This divided take on our national day of celebration has been described as “the most fitting way” welcome new citizens to this country, as migrant families across the nation are introduced to the uniquely Australian art of arguing.
Other dysfunctional Australian habits that were engrained into our new countrymen and women in these ceremonies include both the idea that criticising the decisions of public servants was “unaustralian” – as well as the revisionist take on why our troops are actually put in a position where they would have to make the ultimate sacrifice in the first place.
However, the most important of the formal proceedings, aside from the concerningly non-secular vow to Australia, was the encouraging tips on how to cut down the tall poppies.
As former Prime Minister Turnbull pointed out in his Canberra address, pointlessly criticising and trying to undermine anyone you are jealous of is a great Australian past time, and a big part of what is to be Australian, and a big part of why he is no longer Prime Minister.
New migrants say this Australian eccentricity seems very unfamiliar to most world cultures, but is ultimately something they are prepared for.
“I look forward to talking shit about anyone who seems to be finding some sort of success in their lives” said Deng Abel, a soon to be newly naturalised citizen at the Betoota ceremony.
“In Africa, we champion the success of our neighbours, but I am willing to learn and respect the Australian way of life”
“Fuck NSW for winning Origin last year”
“Fuck the Roosters”
