ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Worthless office drone Brad Jenkins has taken won LinkedIn today according to colleagues and acquaintances alike after posting a short video of himself performing autofellatio.

The video, which eschewed the usual corporate platitudes and humblebrags, has been hailed as a refreshing departure from the norm, garnering praise from dozens of local users.

The post, simply captioned “Maximising Self-Care In A Macrobusiness Environment,” appeared on LinkedIn early Thursday morning. Within hours, it had amassed over two dozen likes, comments, and shares, as local professionals from all sectors expressed their astonishment and admiration for Jenkins’ authenticity.

“I was just having some Me Time and thought I’d share,” Jenkins told The Advocate.

“Everyone’s out here posting about their #Grind, their #Hustle, and their #Wins, but it’s all just noise. I wanted to do something that really cut through the bullshit and got people’s attention. Looks like it worked.”

Jenkins, who works in middle management at a mid-sized tech firm in Betoota’s central business district, is no stranger to pushing boundaries. Colleagues describe him as a maverick who’s always willing to challenge the status quo.

“He’s always been a bit of a wild card, obviously,” said Sarah Frisbee, a co-worker.

“He’s more flexible than he looks.”

The video itself, a 4-minute clip, features Jenkins performing the act with surprising finesse, set to Shannol Noll’s power ballad ‘Lift”. The simplicity and shock value of the post have sparked conversations across the platform, with many praising Jenkins for his raw honesty and others condemning it as inappropriate for a professional network.

Despite the controversy, Jenkins remains unfazed.

“Look, at the end of the day, it’s about standing out in a crowded space,” he said.

“I’d just had a mouthful of people on there patting themselves on the back. Anyway, I’ve got recruiters and headhunters reaching out to me like never before. Maybe it’s not conventional, but it’s effective.”

More to come.

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