ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
One of the Diamantina’s largest mid-tier law firms has celebrated the retirement of one of their most senior lawyers today by casualising his former position as an intellectual property law partner.
Ron Gloe worked for Claypoon Mintgimp & Windowlickers for just over twenty-five years and in that time, grew his pay-packet from one modest enough to service the mortgage on a French Quarter California Bungalow to one that can service a beach house, a farm, a six-bedroom Old City District brownstone terrace and four Audis.
The 65-year-old retires as one of the most experienced intellectual property legal minds in the whole of Queensland.
However, the many sociopathic associates at Claypoon Mintgimp & Windowlickers who were gunning to replay Gloe were disappointed to learn today that Ron’s position within the company would also be retiring with him.
“It’s bullshit,” said one disgruntled associate.
“They’re pretty much going to hire people on one-year contracts now to do Ron’s job for a fifth of the salary with zero benefits. Ron had a company car and the company even paid for his family’s health insurance. As far as I know, all Ron did was go to meetings and do lunch with people. I never actually saw him go to court or brief any barristers,”
“When I did my rotation through his team, he just chatted to the boys about his new Mizuno golf clubs. He got a full 2-PW set of HMBs! The duck-arsed cunt plays that much golf, you’d think he’d be half good enough to use blades by now!”
“Sorry. I don’t mean that. I wish him well. Even his bowl-cut school shooter looking grandson,”
“Actually, can you leave that part out? This will totally fuck my career.”
More to come.
