Distraught Prime Minister Wondering If Anyone Will Ask Him How Hawaii Was

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

As bushfires continue to take the lives and homes of people across the nation, the ash-covered media landscape seems to have forgotten who the real victim is.

Although uncontained fires are clearly the force for destruction in this situation the majority of the blame seems to be directed to Prime Minister Scott Morrison, all because he denies climate change is making the fires worse and went on holidays while the nation burned.

“I try not to take it personally,” stated the Prime Minister, still wearing a decorative lei he purchased at Sydney airport before boarding his international flight.

“But seriously, I went to Cobargo and not one of them asked me how Hawaii was. I was asking them how they were, sort of, I mean, why wouldn’t they do the same?” 

In his trip to the NSW town of Cobargo, the Prime Minister was forced to leave early after being denied handshakes and a photo opportunity, increasing his already low self-esteem.

“It’s really tragic. I’m back at work and no one has asked me one question about the trip. Seriously, not even a ‘how was it?’”

“Do you know I had fresh pineapple every morning? Kona cut it fresh for me every day. He was our assistant but by the end of it, he was just a mate. Would have loved to have spent more time with him but I had to go home early for some reason.”