EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A local yummy mummy who’s back on the dating market for the first time in twenty years has unfortunately traumatised her poor daughter, by excitedly divulging a ton of details no family member needs to know.
Sandra Haltmann, 52, is alleged to have embraced her new life as a single woman with gusto, having already hit Facebook with a ton of sultry yet heavily filtered selfies, and signing up to multiple dating apps.
Though this is an exciting period of her life that has been enjoyable for her daughter Melanie to witness, especially seeing as it really does appear that Sandra has gotten her groove back, it isn’t without its drawbacks – as Melanie now constantly finds herself not only giving her mum very basic dating advice, but also having to stop her from talking about her sex life with gusto.
And it appears, moving into the role of parent as her mum reprises her giddy teen years.
“Oh hun, Brad is just a machine, he has so much STAMINA”, Sandra could be heard saying, forgetting that her daughter is well, her daughter, “the things he can do with his ton-!”
“Oh ew mum no, I don’t need to know that”, Melanie replied, barely containing her breakfast this morning, “I don’t want to know about your sex life.”
“Jesus Christ.”
More to come.
