KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Exciting news for organic wine swillers this week, as electric vehicle manufacturers announce plans to launch a new exclusive VIP event for EV car enthusiasts.
Headlined ‘The Yarra Valley Battery Banquet’, the weekend long festival hosted in Victoria’s premier wine region, gives the electric car community the chance to gather and kiss tires together.
Speaking to festival organiser and Yarra Valley Council Member Nicola Muske (38), the new festival is expected to become a must-do experience on the calendar of tech yuppies across the country.
“We know those who drive EV have often felt marginalised and ridiculed by the wider community, so we thought putting on a 3 day festival was a great way to spread the message that EV vehicles are for everyone.”
“We’ve got Ben Shewry from Attica working the food tents and a special Climate Action panel hosted by Tim Flannery.”
“The Saturday night might even get a bit rowdy, we’ve booked the James Morrison Big Band to entertain the crowd.”
When questioned about the decision to host the event the same weekend as the World’s Largest Rum, Ute and Boot festival, the infamous Deniliquin Ute Muster, Mrs Muske belives the Battery Banquet will be able to hold its own on the Victorian tourism calendar.
“Obviously it’ll be little different to the Deni Ute experience, for one there’s a strict ‘No Burnout / No Camping / No mullet policy.”
“Instead we’re expecting our high income attendees to pay $550 a night to stay in shipping containers we’ve marketed as luxury AirBnB accommodation.”
“By adding a few matte black shower fixtures and a bottle of Aesop soap next to the sink, it’s crazy what these Melbourne types will pay for.”
When asked about the potential power shortages the event will cause, Muske expressed that the festival organisers had a plan in place.
“Obviously large events of this nature come with risks. So we’ve reached out to the South Australian Energy Minister, hoping we can borrow some power off their grid if we cause a state-wide blackout.
More to come.
