ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The producers of Farmer Wants A Wife
Far-South Betoota dryland cotton grower, Rhett Murray, decided to apply for the show because he’s been struggling through a drought of all descriptions.
Including, he says, a lady drought.
“Ever since those uppity inner-city dickheads at the ABC ran that smear piece against cotton farmers, no chickie babe wants to give me the time of day even,” he said.
“And even after I do a bunch of nice things for them, I get nothing in return. So, I surrendered any shame I had left and applied for Farmer Wants A Wife. So here we go, I’m excited.”
But Rhett hasn’t been made aware of the difficult situation his job has placed the producers in of the popular reality TV show.
After the usual vetting process was over, a producer told our reporter that there were no prospective ladies for Mr Murray.
“There were a few who wanted to know a bit more about Rhett but they all had a crazy look about them. It would’ve made for great television but our insurance company walked away from it,” said one producer.
“There’s not too much wrong with Rhett. He is a dryland cotton grower in the Simpson Desert. But the Macquarie Marshes and the Murray will look like the Simpson in years to come so I guess he’s a head of his time,”
“Anyway, we’re struggling to find somebody who wants to get weird with Brett who isn’t a crazy person. Sometimes this job isn’t as glamourous as it seems.”
More to come.
