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A leading lobby group for Australia’s homosexual community, Young Australian Same-Sexers (YASS) have today released a statement about the ongoing Israel Folau saga.
This comes as the 3-month-long ordeal between the former-Wallaby and ARU was ramped up once again, with the Pentecostal Bible cherrypickers at the Australian Christian Lobby raising over $2 million to cover Folau’s legal fees in his battle against a commonly accepted opinion that gay people are not subhuman.
In what has now become a non-Burka-related conversation about religious freedoms, the controversy was kicked off with a wildly homophobic Instagram post from Folau, in which he deployed misinterpreted scripture from The Bible to support his belief that homosexuals, drunks, fornicators and others will go to hell.
While Australia’s drunks and fornicators appear content with their decisions, it is the LGBTI community who have been most persecuted by these comments -with Folau condemning them to an afterlife of torturous punishment for something they can’t control.
Prominent Betoota Homosexual, Jamie Wholefoods is a spokesperson for the YASS lobby group who spoke to the drunks and fornicators at The Betoota Advocate this morning.
“Israel, you can say what you want… but, sweetie, you aren’t going to be playing with our darling David Pocock again anytime soon..” says Jamie.
“Homosexuals are the reason the Wallabies still exist. Look at their sponsors… Do you see any cauliflower ears getting around the Qantas flight cabin?”
“And the only time gays go offroad is in a Land Rover. So yes, we are bigger than the game”
When asked what it was specifically about Israel Folau’s comments that offended him, Jamie said most gays were deeply troubled by the inference that he would have to spend his entire fiery afterlife in a suburban Tarocash outlet, the LGBTI version of Hell.
“My dad took me their before my year 10 formal, and I ain’t ever going back” says Jamie.
“Rugby Australia did the right thing by sacking him. How dare he insinuate I will have to spend eternity around poly-blend pin stripe shirts and white pleather belts!”
