KEITH T. DENNETT | REAL LIFE | CONTACT
A local girlfriend is about to call the police tonight as she looks to track down her boyfriend who’s been missing for over 10 hours.
Tamika Woolnough (32) is a long-suffering WAG of the Bettoota Mutts, as her partner Damo plays 4th grade rugby for the side that’s won only one game all year.
And whilst she enjoys the fact Damo can blow off some steam every weekend by belting the crap out of other weekend warriors who definitely should have given up playing contact sports years ago, tonight Tamika is struggling to understand how a short away game has turned into an impromptu bucks party.
With the Mutt’s driving out to play the Tanbar Boars, Tamika says Damo boarded the team bus from the Betoota War Memorial at midday, and was only packed for a short trip.
Yet as the clock strikes 10:38pm this rainy Saturday night, Damo is nowhere to be seen, and Tamika can’t understand why.
“Maybe he got injured?” Tamika asked our reporter.
“That ACL might’ve finally given in for the second time!” she pondered.
However having reached out to Damo via the Mutts team WhatsApp, The Advocate can report that Damo currently does require surgery, but more likely a stomach pump given he’s up to sculling his 9th can of Bundy Rum.
“Maaaaate we’re allll gooooood!” Damo screamed back to our reporter, as the sounds of ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ blared from a JBL Boombox, “We’ve just had a couple pitt stops ya know!”
On route back to Betoota, it’s believed Damo and the Mutts have taken a shortcut home via the Butchers Tavern in Farrars Creek, The Royal in Bedourie and quick team dinner at Pigswill Brewery in Birdsville.
And after boozing hard on the bus and putting away several pints at each establishment, Damo’s admitted he won’t be in the good books when he gets home.
“Mate, I’m as pissed as my Nan’s mattress right now, but tell Tamiks I should be home before midnight. Lessss goo!”
