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NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian is reportedly ‘too scat’ to front the media today with her findings from research conducted at yesterday’s Laneway Festival on the grounds of Sydney College of the Arts.
The unelected leader of the NSW Liberal Government says she learnt a lot of things while getting down in the nosebleed section, but won’t be back to her normal self until Wednesday at least.
“Tuesdays are always the worst I hear [haha]” she told our reporters.
“I didn’t sleep. I ended up at the Triple One set at Oxford Arts factory after party. I haven’t pulled an all-nighter lack that since we got the Nespresso pods in the party room”
This special assignment follows the backlash faced by Berejiklian after she admitted to never even ‘having a puff’ – during the ongoing debate about how to avoid drug-related tragedy at music festivals.
“Everyone was saying I didn’t have the life experience to understand the complexity of the issue. So on Sunday I bought a carton of Cruisers and had some of the girls over for a pre-drink before getting an UberXL into Laneway from Willoughby”
Liberal Party insiders say that at some point during yesterday’s Gang Of Youths set, Premier Gladys Berejiklian met a bloke named Tyrone in the mosh pit.
From that moment, her understanding of the culture surrounding youth culture, and fun in general, changed dramatically.
“Working alongside Tyrone, and other professionals, I have been quite involved in the other side of this debate” she said, before visibly shuddering due to a come-down-induced bout of anxiety.
“Overall, I had a pretty fun day. The line up was lit”
“Although I have to say, as a lifelong member of the NSW Liberal Party, I do disagree fundamentally with a lot of Camp Cope’s politics”
“Other than all that feminist stuff, it was great”
