KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT
A local Betoota man has been left absolutely humiliated this afternoon after he failed to execute a really basic parallel park while his father-in-law-to-be was in the passenger seat, prompting the entire wedding to be officially called off.
Trevor Johnson, 27, had been looking forward to spending some time with his future father-in-law, Barry, and had the perfect opportunity this afternoon after finding out that he needed a ride to the shops to get some more bottles of champers for today’s big event.
“I thought it would be the perfect little pep talk. I’d get a chance to bond with him, we’d be able to get more bubbles that, he’d pay. It was supposed to be a win-win”, recounted Trevor, in an interview after the incident.
However, his big plan to impress his fiancé’s father completely backfired after Barry told him to “just park here” out in front of the Bottle shop, a move which required Trevor to carry out a standard parallel park manoeuvre.
“It was honestly the worst 25 minutes of my life”
“I can usually do a parallel park pretty easily, but with him in the car it was like I was a completely different person. A person who can’t park for shit, and who also makes way too many awkward comments about how lovely the weather is”.
Mr. Johnson stated that, although he had spent some time preparing for this exact scenario, he had not been prepared for the reality of the situation.
“I started out okay – I even started cutting back in at the right time, exactly like all the YouTube videos had said. But it all went completely wrong after that”
Several eye-witnesses were reportedly present during the incident, and have gone on record to describe the tragic scene.
“It was clear the young fella had misjudged the distance. All of a sudden he was sticking out way too much, his nose was in traffic as cars were zooming past, the car was beeping loudly and kept stopping and starting as he tried to fix it, and the old fella next to him wasn’t having any of it. It was somehow both hilarious and the saddest thing I have ever seen”, said one concerned on-looker.
“He did that for about half an hour. It was honestly crazy, at one point someone drove passed and yelled “fucking wanker!” and I saw the old man actually nod in agreement.
“Eventually he just gave up and parked around the corner. But you could tell that the damage was done”
The repercussions of the incident were indeed severe, after Barry immediately called his daughter and told her everything, prompting everyone to agree that the engagement should be called off.
“I can put up with a lot with this new generation”, said Barry, when asked for comment. “He doesn’t really have a job – fine. He spent most of last month in prison for drug possession – whatever. He doesn’t own a single bottle of super glue – I can live with that, just about”
“But NO daughter of mine is going to marry a man who can’t execute a basic two point parallel parking manoeuvre. It’s fucking embarrassing”
At time of press a mortified Trevor was seen sprinting towards the international airport in his dinner suit.
