LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
It has been confirmed today aspiring artist and full-time kitchen hand Layla Oswald, who had planned to spend Australia Day quietly observing the struggles on Indigenous Australians, has caved in and asked everyone what they’re up to tomorrow.
On her prefered group chat (titled The No Homers Club), the 26-year-old Stone & Wood socialist asked “Is anyone doing anything for Australia Day?” at 10:30am, despite the fact she vocally refuses to celebrate Australia Day and goes out of her way to make sure others don’t either.
“It’s not right to celebrate tomorrow but it’s not like I can go to work so…I might as well do something.”
Oswald has been adamant against Australia Day for many years, but is yet to attend any form of march or protest, and usually ends up at a barbecue surrounded by her non-Indigenous friends waving flags
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to have fun though. There’s no Hottest 100 on today anyway so how can I?”
Despite the fact she could have attended one of the many anti-Australia Day protests taking place across the nation, Oswald has decided to express her activism by making her friend and family feel bad for enjoying themselves and dragging her one Aboriginal friend into every conversation about Australia Day.
“Oh Lauren? Yeah she’s cool. We’re friends.”
Friends of Oswald have stated that while they have plans for Australia Day, they were looking forward to it considerably more before Oswald wanted to be involved.
Longtime friend of Oswald, Ryan Balzer (28) states that while he agrees on a date change of Australia Day, he doesn’t want to have to deal with any of her half-hearted activism while she attempts to make up for her attendance at a social event.
