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As Tasmania’s night time temperatures soared to the unprecedented heights of 24 degrees this past weekend, the usually brisk island state of Tasmania has taken a drastic measure to combat the scorching heat.
After exhausting all known techniques for temperature regulation, the Tasmanians must now dispatch one of their most resourceful sons on a dangerous quest to the mainland in search of the elusive and mythical “fan” technology.
Hailing from the humble seaside village of Strahan, young Tasmanian Ferdinand Proudfoot (22) may be an adventurous forestman but he never saw this intrepidness extending beyond the seas that surround his home island.
However as word came down from the High-Chief of the Tasmanians, Jeremy Rockliff, that Ferdinand had been selected to venture north – he was left with no choice.
Whispers can be heard up and down the Apple Island that a never-before-seen mainland technology may be making its arrival to Tasmania due to the recent heatwave.
While many locals remain cynical that such inventions even exist, it’s said the new machinery could close the gap between the island and the mainland by decades.
“No, no, no, we don’t need this mainland technology! it will corrupt us all, we are doing fine.” Said one elder Tasmanian, Bodoe Cotton (121).
“We tried to be open with the mainland and accepted their bicycle technology, it’s completely corrupted the youth. I fear what this fan technology might do to our island.” He warned.
As young Ferdinand prepares for his journey north, he admits that he’s quite frightened about this whole ordeal.
“Only one other man from my village has been to the mainland, we never saw him again… Apparently he strayed from women and now lives in a monastery that condones that behaviour by the name of Saint Kilda” Ferdinand explained.
“But this is a battle of the unknowns. I must overcome the unknowns of the mainland to defend by people against the unknowns of mid-20s evenings”
“All we do know about this kind of heat is that it brings with it a mosquito plague”
