25 May, 2015. 10:45
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
With the introduction of light rail and ongoing suburban sprawl, the ‘Bush Capital’ of Canberra, ACT now has a population bigger than some countries.
Due to the weather and unique culture, one direct comparison that has been made is with the Nordic nation of Iceland.
Australia’s Minister for Foreign Affairs, Julie Bishop, says that every time she goes to Iceland – It’s almost like she’s back in Parliament.
“It’s very bizarre, they are so similar” she said.
“The freezing weather, the weird food, the rampant drinking culture,”
“Not to mention the fact that the place is full of tax-evaders with secret off-shore bank accounts in Panama.”
“It’s all very similar”
Iceland and Canberra both have a population of around 340,000 people respectively. However, it would surprise most that the Australian city actually has more ice.
Local man, Shen Sampson (25) says that most outsiders wouldn’t really know too much about the presence of ice in Canberra because of the way the capital city is presented on television as a warm and sunny bush town.
“You gotta go down Tuggeranong way,” he says while inappropriately blowing phlegm out one nostril”
“That’s where you’ll see all the ice. It’s only really been getting like this in the last ten or so years, but yeah winter time is when you’ll see most of it”
Mr Sampson puts the rise in ice down to the fact that there is roughly 42 chemists between the ACT and South-West Sydney.
“They just do it one hit. Visit every pharmacy on the way. Next thing you know there’s ice everywhere”
“We’ve always said there’s more ice down here than in Iceland,”
Malcolm pork barrelling ‘hes really smart’ Turnbull is going to hand out millions for strategically embedded rehabilitation outposts for all the druggies down in Tuggy. He will be making this announcement at the chinese restaurant ‘Tuggie Palace’. He will enjoy the dumplings and be heralded by all as ‘a really nice guy who appears smart’. Pissant fuddy duddy radio presenter will have a jovial morning convo regarding how much they would appreciate a scomo cook book for Canberra winters and what he is going to do about ‘the stink’ which will be a delightfully esoteric slur which will be heard by bearded losers in overcoats and minute fedora hats.