CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A well-heeled South Yarra solar panel importer has today made the crushing realisation that the deplorable sacks of shit within his community who oppose the general medical consensus surrounding immunisations are gradually thinning out.
Renee Proctor (55) says it’s not lost on him that the anti-vax mob is gradually shrinking down to the most deranged die-hards, as the re-opening of Melbourne pubs encourages the fired up tradies that once led the movement to go and get their jabs.
As a prominent enviro-bro and former darling of Melbourne university, Renee is worried that he might be running out of lowlife scum to openly ridicule and dehumanise on Twitter – now that he’s seeing far less overweight people who spend too much time on YouTube taking to the streets.
This comes as a couple thousand stragglers of gathered in Melbourne’s CBD over the weekend, to rally against the Victorian government’s new pandemic powers or whatever the fuck it is that Murdoch has scared them with this week.
The protest, which is now only really made up of the most late-stage suburban conspiracists, showcased the raw data of Australia’s problem with medical misinformation – as society’s most anxious and scared descend into waving signs that advocate violence against politicians,
The crowd chanted “kill the bill” and “sack Dan Andrews” as it blocked tram lines outside Victoria’s Parliament House.
The new pandemic bill has been a sensationalist talking point for the late night Sky News hosts and fringe politicians like Craig Kelly – as they generate fear around the fact that the premier and health minister will now be able to declare a pandemic and make public health orders whenever they feel it is necessary.
The new laws will also curtail the role and responsibilities of the chief health officer, so as to make sure things run a bit smoother if we ever experience another scary outbreak like the one that has killed nearly 2000 Victorians.
While these new laws are terrifying to the last remaining anti-vax conspiracists, who are gradually looking like they make up much less than 1% of the population – their fears pale in comparison to the distress felt by yuppie elites by Renee Proctor – who may have to retreat back to casual racism towards African youth crime, now that he’s running out of stupid bogans to vilify from his Twitter account that does not represent the views of his employer.
