28 May, 2016. 11:01
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
AFTER BLAMING EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING for his unsurprising exit from the French Open overnight, tennis star Nick Kyrgios is the subject of a Kickstarter campaign that aims to fund the search for his ticker.
The 21-year-old’s shoulder gave up on him early in the piece, with his growing frustrations slowly shifting towards his brother as the game slowly slipped from his fingertips.
He eventually asked brother Christos to “get out of his box”, before smashing his racquet to a chorus of boos from the crowd.
However, funding campaign founder Mark Robbins says that with a little more research and funding, he’s confident that the Top-20-ranked tennis player will turn his game around and find some ticker.
“At the moment, Nick isn’t playing his best tennis because he hasn’t got much ticker, but that’s an easy fix these days,” said the 42-year-old Palm Island Tennis Club president.
“When you start blaming everything around you, including the people who love and support you, for your shortcomings in life, that’s a telltale sign of having no ticker – and that’s what Nick has been doing recently,”
“But that’s all part of being a young sportsman. You grow some ticker, you’re not born with it. That’s why I put this Kickstarter together because Wimbledon is next month, meaning we are out of fucking ticker-growing time. If we can’t buy Nick any soon, then we’re fucked for the Men’s Singles again this year.”
Shortly after it first appeared on the crowd-funding website, it was removed for violating their terms and agreements.
