LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The wildflower state has bid farewell to the rest of Australia today as Western Australia was last seen detaching itself from the rest of the mainland and sailing into the sunset.
At the time of writing, WA has heavily restricted travel to and from every other Australian state which is why their seven day average Covid cases is 10 and not 40,879 like it is in NSW.
However, outperforming eastern states in managing the safety and welfare of their residents was not enough for the hermit kingdom which is why premier Mark McGowan secretly rallied the mining industry to cut them free of the mainland so the golden state could wink away into the sunset pulled by bush chook feathered sails full of easterly winds.
“Later losers!” premier McGowan was spotted yelling, with a mouth patriotically full of iron ore.
“Bet you didn’t think WAXIT was going down like this!”
According to McGowan, the decision to detach from the rest of Australia was made the way all his decisions were made; by seeing what NSW is doing and doing the complete opposite.
“I noticed that NSW had stopped checking vaccine passports and remained attached to the mainland.”
“That is why we have broadened the proof of vaccination requirements and detached from the mainland to seek our fortune somewhere in the Indian Ocean.”
To mark the occasion and flex on eastern states a festival was held featuring Tame Impala, Eskimo Joe and Stella Donnelly.
Tim Winton was seen writing poetry about the historic ‘detachment day.’
WA takes with them 2.68 million Australians, 46% of Australia’s exports and hundreds of dollars in tourism revenue.
