TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
An over qualified and bored shitless lifeguard at Brisbane’s main tourist attraction has taken matters into her own hands today after yet another day has gone by without her extensive training being put to use.
The Advocate can confirm that Hannah Nikovic intentionally tripped over a toddler, on the cement, at 12:03pm. She then went on to pretend the toddler fell over and began using his first aid training.
One of our reporters happened to be at the scene and gained first-hand information on what exactly took place – as with any witness report, the statements are conflicting.
“I saw her trip that poor toddler. She thought no one was looking, but I was” said an unemployed middle-aged man called Terry.
“The toddler fell, it shouldn’t have been running. Where was the child’s parent? Might be a lesson for both of them,” added a woman smoking a Marlboro Red cigarette while pushing her own toddler in a pram.
To get the story straight, our reporter approached the lifeguard who was quick to admit to her crime.
“Yeah, I did it”
“I’m so bored”
“I suppose it’s on me really, what did I think a job as a lifeguard at a fake beach would be like?”
Ignoring a job ad at a Brisbane beach is a no-brainer for any Australian lifeguard, but like many travellers who come to Australia to live the Bondi dream, this poor lifeguard didn’t realise that there were no real beaches in Brisbane and any job advertised at a Brisbane beach would likely be a stitch up.
