WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A local man has today revealed to The Advocate just how far and wide this financial crisis has spread.
Betoota Heights office worker Fitzroy Brunswick said the dire financial situation the nation and the world finds itself in has also spread to his physical body.
“Let me tell you, inflation is at record highs,” he sighed, patting his stomach today.
“I’m running at at-least 5% inflation right now.”
While his wife has raised issues around consumption of alcohol and alcohol related foods and his lack of exercise, Fitzroy says there’s actually someone else to blame.
“God damn Putin,” he laughed.
“This war in Ukraine, bloody hell.”
“It’s just caused this inflationary spiral which I’ve been caught up in.”
When asked about how the people who run the economy have fucked everything up again despite pretending they know what they are doing was responsible for his rig, Fitzroy shrugged.
“Everyone else is blaming them, so I just thought I’d get on the band wagon.”
“Might need a serious case of food poisoning to get the rig in shape,” he laughed.
“Or just push things back to next year.”
