Local Good Son Wears Hideous Shirt Mother Gave Him For Christmas The Next Time He Sees Her

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Though he’s fucked up and disappointed his mother many, many times before, a loveable but ultimately hopeless local man has made her happy this afternoon by wearing the shirt she got him for Christmas to lunch today.

Dylan Speakmann, who shot to local fame in 2010 after mailing a vac-sealed feral cat he’d shot to famous leather-skinned television personality Richard Wilkins, said that the shirt he got from Mum this Christmas past ‘needs to be burned’ and his ‘hideous’.

“But that’s beside the point,” said the 31-year-old.

“I know Mum’s taste for fashion isn’t crash hot, especially for people entering their 30s, but I knew it’d make her day if she saw me turn up for lunch in the thing,”

“So I pulled it out of the plastic and slipped it on before I ducked out to meet her.”

The Advocate reached out to Mrs Speakmann for comment on the hideous shirt, to which she replied with shock.

“What do you mean by hideous shirt?” asked Diana Speakmann.

“When I was young, tartan shirts were considered very groovy. I though it was a very nice shirt for a young man. Why? What’s the purpose of this phone call? Did Dylan say he didn’t like the shirt?

Our reporter didn’t have an answer for Mrs Speakmann so he just hung the phone up then left it off the hook.

More to come.