ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local man has spoken this week of how hard it is to resist the primal urge to slap large pieces of meat in the cold foods section of a supermarket.

It’s something Dennis Harmon says is deep down within him. The 48-year-old from Betoota Heights told The Advocate that it’s a natural progression from what he used to do as a kid.

“Did anyone else ever poke their fingers into packets of mince? Or was that just me?” he said has ate half a dozen cold cheerios in the check out line.

“But yes, you almost caught me red-handed slapping that leg of ham. I can’t help myself. Whether it’s a bit of brisket, a big leg of mutton or some ham. I see a big side of cold meat and I feel an overwhelming urge to whack the living shit out of it. Someone will probably end up taking it home and it’ll be all bruised underneath,”

“That’s just the way it is. Do you want one of these?”

Dennis offered our reporter a cold cherrio.

“Aren’t they delciious? Anyway, have you ever poked holes in a packet of mince with your fingers?” he said.

Our reporter said no.

More to come.

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