ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The initial dangers of COVID-19 have passed us and one local man explained to our reporters this afternoon that he felt the need to cheat death in a new way – after weeks of isolating himself.
Brian Galhooly went on to say that the government made it seem like you’d die if you left your house in the first few days of the pandemic but now, he sees the virus for what it really is.
“It was a bit of a letdown,” he said.
“I was hoping for the full pandemic experience. Instead, all I’ve done over the past two months is play golf, read and do the odd bit of work. I’ve actually been way more productive in these eight weeks since the madness began,”
“But I needed to find something to replace the fear and adrenaline I had coursing through my veins in early April. I need to feel alive, like I was being hunted. Don’t ask me why; don’t kink shame me,”
“So I bought a pushbike – and I ride it wherever I want.”
With every honk and foul-mouthed spray from passing motorists, the 34-year-old says he feels better and better.
“I ride it down the middle of the lane and make people overtake to get around me. I fucking love it.”
“Some tradie ran me off the road and chased me through the park with a length of chain welded to a two-foot bit of reo bar. Lash, lash, lash he went. His eyes, wide and wild. He was going to kill me if he caught me. I’d already judo-chopped one of his side mirrors off at the lights. He was so angry, it was so funny,”
“This is the type of shit I wanted from the coronavirus. Fear,”
“I’ve never felt so fucken alive.”
More to come.
