CONSTANCE RIVERA | Grievances | CONTACT
In a masterclass of corporate camouflage, a local woman has nailed the ‘focused employee’ look, flawlessly multitasking under pressure to snag several Black Friday deals—during a work meeting.
Gemma Quan (26) reportedly spent her entire ‘strategic alignment’ Slack meeting alternating between nodding thoughtfully at her manager’s slides and furiously refreshing her browser to secure deals on a Dyson Airwrap and a pair of half-price Doc Martens.
“I had my spreadsheets open, so technically, I was working,” Gemma said, visibly chuffed with her ability to toggle seamlessly between budget forecasts and flash sales. “I mean, is it my fault the meeting could’ve been an email?”
Sources close to Gemma reveal she also added strategic “Mm-hmm”s and asked a single vague question to maintain the illusion of attentiveness. “It’s a delicate balance,” she explained. “You can’t blow your cover by asking something too specific. A good ‘Can we circle back on that?’ buys you time to enter your card details.”
By the end of the meeting, she had secured not only a killer deal on boots but also a heavily discounted air fryer, a summer wardrobe refresh, and a gym membership she’ll “definitely use.”
“Honestly, the real Black Friday deal here is my ability to multitask,” Gemma quipped, hitting “place order” just as the call ended.
It’s unclear if her team reached any ‘strategic alignment,’ but Gemma’s wardrobe—and kitchen counter—are all the better for it.
