ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A man has started his working week with a near-impossible task.
Michael Beadie set off from his Betoota Heights home this morning on horseback, carrying on his laptop, mobile phone and a fistful of credit cards. He was last seen barrelling up Mount Remienko on his two-year-old quarterhorse, looking for a golf course near his home that has a weekend tee time at an acceptable time of day.
The 29-year-old, who’s only really started his way down the golfing rabbit hole since the pangolin asthma reached our shores, hasn’t had much luck yet.
“North Betoota Golf Club just laughed,” he said.
He spoke briefly to The Advocate via telephone a few moments ago but wouldn’t say where he was.
“I’ve called into four courses near my home. Nobody has space. What the fuck is going on? Who the fuck are all these people playing golf?”
It’s been nearly six hours since Michael left his home and he’s yet to find what he’s looking for.
“Some places have tee times at like 3pm but I want to play 18. One bloke said I needed to book about 3 weeks in advance. I’ve heard there’s tee times at Lake Betoota Municipal – but that’s a day’s ride from here,”
“If only I knew a member at Royal Betoota. I don’t because I’m a Catholic and my parents are broke. On top of that, my paternal grandparents are Jewish. So I guess I’ll never get to play there,”
“I mustn’t let that distract me, though. Onwards!”
With that, Michael hung up.
More to come.
