ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A city worker put the feelers out to his group chat this afternoon to see if anybody was planning on visiting one of the many hotels in the inner Betoota area.
None of Dennis Colon’s friends replied, which means he should probably just go and fuck himself.
The 28-year-old though his planets had aligned. He’s home alone in the flat this weekend as his girlfriend is going away with friends.
He has a late tee time tomorrow and enough leftovers in the fridge to work as some sort of dinner later on tonight.
“But it wasn’t meant to be,” he said.
“We could’ve watched the football together. The league on one screen, the rugby on the other. It wasn’t going to be one of those nights you get home and wake up in the morning not knowing how you got there. It was just going to be a grown-up evening,”
“But I guess I should probably just go home and try to fuck myself. Maybe do some stretches, treat myself to a nice dinner. Then really go at it. I might have the flexibility of a boogie board but I reckon I could slip it in there.”
The Advocate reached out to Dennis’ group chat for comment but have yet to receive a reply, too.
More to come.
