ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A chinless mass has been named as the new CEO of some bank or fund here in the Diamantina, which has surprised nobody in particular.
The breakfast sausage looking thing said he was ready to embrace the challenge of steering Florence Investments out of this brand new recession and into the fields of gold that lie beyond this quagmire of death currently gripping the globe.
Speaking to our reporter this morning via telephone David Clarke Watson Smith Oliver said while the current climate is challenging, there’s still money to be made.
“I had poor circulation and have destroyed my body with processed food and alcohol. I look very bad in the nude but at least this suit makes me look a little bit powerful,” said Clarke Watson Smith Oliver.
“When I accidentally cut myself or something, the wound can take months to heal. I’d tell the doctor these things when I go there to get my quarterly Cialis prescription but I’m too embarrassed,”
“But none of that matters because I’ve got a great job.”
David joins the team from Bell Potter, the McDonalds of private wealth managers in this country.
More to come.
