CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A spokesperson from the ACTU has today revealed remarkable statistics that show a 50% decrease in workplace injuries in the op-shop and vintage record store sector.
“This is unprecedented. It’s exactly what industrial action should look like” they said.
“It is now being used as a case study for similar industries such as artisan bakeries and juice cleanse stores”
“Who would have thought that wearing construction-themed worksite PPE would ever make sense for hipsters”
This new statistics are believed to be directly related to new regulations put in place mandating that all arts students and unskilled half-shaved-head retail workers are to be issued with steel-capped Blundstone boots, to be worn with tucked in jeans or skirts.
The new regulations comes after several hundred broken and stubbed toes were reported in an industry survey published in August 2017, forcing employers to take action.
“Workplace accidents are still semi-regular, you’re always going to have the occasional record crate dropped on someone’s toes, but the risk minimisation has been very impressive” says one industry watchdog.
One employee, Banjo Clementè, says the new industry-issue ‘blunnys’ have been a life saver, well at least toe-saver.
“I’m not sure if they became cool before or after we got made to wear them, it’s hard to tell”
“Like, it’s pretty obvious that me and my friends are kind of taste-makers when it comes to fashion, so yeah… I dunno”
“I’ve heard they are really big in Williamsburg now”
