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“Ummmm… He’s no Bill Leak” says 39-year-old Brunswick resident, Aquila Finch.

“Bill Leak was way worse. Sydney people are actually like racist racist.”

“I think you’ll find that Mark Knight actually takes shots at both sides of the political spectrum. Like he’s just as likely to make fun of Cory Bernardi as he is to portray Serena Williams as a hysterical wingeing sambo”

Like many Melbourne-residents, Aquila finds himself defending the wildly panned actions of other Melbourne-residents, just because it is too difficult for him to acknowledge that his city actually isn’t as politically correct as he likes to tell people it is on Twitter.

When Collingwood was booing Adam Goodes, Aquila said it was because of poor sportsmanship and the fact that the Aboriginal footballer was stealing free kicks. When skinheads were intimidating Muslims in Coburg, he said it was just an Amyl and the Sniffers concert that got out of hand.

“You’d be hard pressed to find any actual like, racists, in Melbourne” says Aquila.

“Like maybe way out in the suburbs. But those people aren’t like, real Melbourne. I mean, look that sounded bad. I mean, like, they don’t catch trams et cetera cetera. So like, it’s hard for them to like be in tune with the actual pulse of this city”

At time of press, Mark Knight was heard saying that freedom of speech isn’t something we should take for granted, unless it’s involving one of those bogan politicians from up in Queensland who actually should be muzzled.

“Yuck. Bob Katter is such a racist. Like, he’s a full Nazi”

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