ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Speaking to the media this morning from Canberra, the Nationals have outlined the silver lining on the storm clouds over Northern Australia as they put forward the party’s energy policy.
De facto leader, Michael McCormack, explained to reporters and a number of scientists inside Parliament House today that all the dead cattle in the Top End, Gulf Country, the Pilbera and Kimberly will one day become coal, gas and oil – thus securing the energy needs for generations to come.
“It’s sad when people, especially Southern Australians who think electricity magically comes from their lounge room powerpoint, say that coal isn’t a renewable source of energy,” said McCormack.
“Because coal, oil and indeed, gas, come from organic sources. Much like a Melbourne person’s eggs!”
McCormack laughed.
“Anyway. Scientists have proven that coal and oil were once dinosaurs and correct me if I’m wrong but the dinosaurs were mammals and marsupials – the same as what cattle are if I’m not mistaken.”
Nigel Scullion let out a fart and immediately claimed it, taking the opportunity to waft it in George Chritstensen’s direction.
Toward the back of the room, Barnaby stood alone as he chewed his way through a small plate of jammed crumpets – until David Littleproud knocked the plate out of his hand and told Joyce not to fuck with him.
McCormack, attempted to wrap the presser up, said the party still kind of supports coal and jobs and that science is on their side.
More to come.
