ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Despite the National Farmers Federation moving to adopt net-zero carbon emissions by 2050, the Nationals have told Parliament this week that they’ll cross the floor if the Government doesn’t exclude them from the national tally.
The Nationals have made farmers the face of their struggle to make sure the mining sector’s emissions aren’t counted towards the overall target, which has failed to surprise anybody around town.
When asked why this is, Nationals powerbroker Barnaby Joyce spelled it out for our cosmopolitan newspaper.
“Clive Palmer donated a lot of money to our party. Lots of miners did,” said Joyce.
“So we can’t just let some latte-sipping Liberals swoop in and force them to change their business model while countries like China and India continue to spew carbon into the air at a rate of knots!”
“We have been paid to do a job and when you’re from the bush, like us Nats are, you bloody do it!”
Big Barn’s sentiments were echoed by the party leader Michael McCormack, who said the Nationals are just focused on building regional Australia.
“It’s about jobs and in regional Australia, we need them,” he said.
“And mining is one of the biggest employers in regional Australia. If we didn’t have mining, what would these people do? Oh yeah, we can reskill them to wipe down solar panels. What other ideas have you got? Got any that aren’t from Macquire Street?”
“We will cross the floor to protect miners like Clive Pal… uh, I mean farmers! Oh for fucks sake! Please don’t publish that! Off the record! Off the record! I’m going to get roasted for this in the family WhatsApp group tonight.”
More to come.
