CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
As the festive season wraps up around the nation, Australians are now gradually returning to work with brains that function as smoothly as a ten year old family desktop full of viruses from Limewire.
Suburban nature strips are now covered in stinky, browning Christmas trees and teenage sons are having their brand new screen devices confiscated for not helping untangle the fairy lights.
As for the festive season treats, all of the mince pies and shortbread has been demolished by arguing sisters who claim to be on diets – and the only ham that is still floating around sits in the fridges of the boldest patriarchs – who can’t see anything wrong with a club sandwich made up of 14-day old meat.
However, in many households, there is still one leftover from the holidays that a lot of people want to see stay.
Dad’s holiday beard actually suits him, and the speckled salt and pepper look is reminding mum a bit of George Clooney.
This is why she is begging he keeps it for a bit, because it’s not like he has one of those jobs where he needs to shave every day. In fact, not many jobs require you to be clean cut like the old days. Just keep it for a bit longer, even Debbie says it looks good and she’s got unrealistically high standards for men which is why she’s still single.
However, while the nation’s dads are enjoying the flattery, their biggest concern about keeping the beard is the stigma that comes with a middle aged man growing a beard for the first time.
“People are gonna think I’m having a mid-life crisis” says the nation’s dads.
“We all know how it goes: new beard, new car, new wife, new tattoo”
“If things are really grim, new rock and roll instrument, like a drum kit or something”
However, it seems the nation’s mums will not be moved on this one and will even go as far as hiding dad’s razors to keep that ‘nespresso’ look going for as long as the next time dad decides to do the groceries – which could be in a couple months.
However, experts predict that mum will be over this look in a couple months time – when dad’s facial hair reaches the point where food gets caught in it.
