CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Right around the country, Australians have been told to prepare for an icy blast of heavy winds, rain and freezing temperatures.
While Queensland has been feeling the chill for the last fortnight, a cold front is set to launch winter weather upon Victoria, NSW, South Australia and Tasmania this weekend.
The first dense blanket of snow had already been dumped across NSW’s Snowy Mountains and the Victorian Alps this morning, and the Australians are rapidly swapping into more appropriate attire.
While the vast majority of Australians that live on the coast will miss the summer sun and beach, there’s in fact a large segment of society that will cherish next 6 months.
The nation’s slobs and bachelors are today riveted that the weather gods have given them permission to no longer iron their shirts.
In fact, in workplaces right around the country, lazy and out of shape blokes don’t even have to worry about finding shirts that fit them properly – let alone need an iron.
“It’s so good” says local Betoota slob, Arnie Blank (28, fleet logistics).
“I’m wearing shirts that I had when I was a teenager. I wouldn’t even be able to tuck them into my pants haha”
As Arnie points out, the winter weather means that he and his slob comrades can now return to just covering up their slovenlyness with a thick winter jumper.
“I love winter.” he says.
“Sometimes I just flat out don’t do the buttons up on my shirts”
“Just make sure the collar is poking out the top and put on the old sweater. The corse wool actually feels good on my bare belly”
However, like all good things, the winter months will eventually come to an end. And for blokes like Arnie, this is when their commitment to avoiding any form of personal grooming is truly tested.
“I reckon I can usually get to late September with the jumper, before I have to go back to ironing my shirts and generally making myself look slightly presentable” he says.
“I’ve gotten to October before, but at that point body odour becomes and issue”
