ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Standing out the front of some garish yuppie cafe in the French Quarter, a local builder told our reporters he makes sure to keep a social distance while waiting for his morning long-black-with-two-shots-of-bubblegum-flavour-Rockstar-energy-drink.
“Especially the ones in lycra,” he said.
“Anyone who can afford to drop a lazy grand on a pushbike can also afford to go overseas whenever they want. Where does all this coronavirus come from? Overseas,”
“So I stay the fuck away from them. I usually don’t mind if some tired-looking old fuck gets a bit close to me – but fuck having these cyclists near you, huffing and puffing. That can go and get fucked, it can.”
That builder, Darcy Tanhootie, is also being reminded to keep his distance from cyclists on the road, too.
The Betoota Shire Council is today launching a new ‘road smart’ campaign to raise awareness of cyclists on our roads.
In recent weeks, a shocking number of bored Betootanese people have purchased bikes to ride around our parks and in traffic to get some much-needed exercise and vitamin D.
That’s led to a spike in vehicular incidents involving cyclists and according to cycling advocates, they were all the fault of motorists.
“Especially builders,” said Maurie Irongooch, a popular local cyclist.
“They get so angry and pass us very close! Well within the legal 1.5m!”
“So we’re asking builders to keep their distance from us at our cafes, in areas that we helped gentrify and destroy, and also on the roads.”
More to come.
