MARIO STRADLATER | Softboi | Contact
A generation of young men labeled as “weak”, “soft” and “allergic to a bit of hard work” by their older peers are preparing for the biggest challenge of their lives to date as tickets to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour go on presale this morning.
Ethan Lockorn (26), a boutique copywriter who has worked from home since the beginning of the pandemic, citing “logistical reasons” for the continuation of his absence from the office post-pandemic, says it’s hard not to feel the pressure.
“This is our generation’s Normandy,” says Lockhorn.
“My partner and I did some run-throughs over the weekend. She showed me where she sat for the Dua Lipa concert a few years ago, and she was very specific that she wanted to sit in those same seats.”
“They were Reserve B, I think, or C. Maybe they were Reserve C. Oh shit, I can’t remember. Can you just… just… hang on. I need to make a call. Fuck.”
Professional Ticket Scalper, Ricky Fendley (46), is also preparing for the big day, albeit for different reasons.
“This is fuckin’ Christmas, Hannukah, Halloween, Chinese New Year all wrapped up into one for me.”
“Forget about the property market, come Feb next year, these things will be worth ten, maybe twenty times the original investment. All you need is a couple of people with FOMO, a new boyfriend trying to impress, or someone in the dog house, and all rationality about cost goes out the window.”
For all of those soldiers preparing for the gates of hell to open, we salute you.
MORE TO COME.
