ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Byron Shire has given yuppies all over the country the green light to move into one of the nation’s last hippie holdouts in an effort to improve the region’s reputation around the nation.
Mullumbimby, or The Mullum as it’s known to locals, has been on the front pages of many newspapers since the COVID-19 outbreak because of the recent demonstrations against 5G, vaccinations and government in general.
This has caused many headaches for the local government, who told The Advocate today that they were trying to take the whole Northern Rivers district in a new direction.
“We’re sick of this bullshit,” said one Byron councillor who asked to remain anonymous.
“Byron is becoming a laughing stock. This whole 5G thing though is the last straw. I’m done. It’s time to get the yuppies in to rip the soul out of Mullum,”
“We are a playground for the rich and famous now. The type of long-haired fuck boy that inherited enough money to buy a house in the heart of Byron. We aren’t some dumping ground for lunatics!”
Mullum locals have not taken the news well.
A number spoke to The Advocate via Skype this afternoon but none were willing to use their real names.
Saphire Coin, who claimed that was her real name, said she was going to take matters into her own hands if yuppies start turning up at open houses.
“There’s a lot of cannabis plants that these Bondi people can fit under up here,” she said.
“Actually, don’t print that. My Dad is a partner at Minter and that’d really piss him off. I’m a local, but. I’ve been here for two years. Fuck tourists!”
More to come.
