ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Treasurer Josh Frydenberg screamed his little Victorian lungs out this morning after learning two Betoota Heights battlers revealed their plan to put the savings received from the Reserve Bank rate cut yesterday into their high-interest savings accounts.
“Nooooo!!!” he said in his best outside voice while inside the Treasury Office in Canberra.
“You fucking idiots! Spend it! That’s what it’s there for!”
“I even put the hard word on the banks to pass it on in full! Sometimes, I don’t know why I fucking bother! How the fuck are there still Howard Battlers still kicking about? I thought they were all dead! Fuck!”
The more junior employees at the Treasury retreated to the kitchenette while their boss imploded.
“Fuck!”
The Advocate spoke to the Betoota Heights couple who set Josh From Melbourne off a short time ago and even after learning they upset the Treasurer with their plan to save money, they remain unapologetic.
“If he wants us to spent money, he has to give us money,” said 64-year-old Roger Jones said.
“People are far more likely to spend money that they feel like they got for free. Free money. Kevin gave me free money and guess what I did with it?”
Our reporter guessed incorrectly and Roger continued.
“I bought four new tires for my Jumbuck, took the four bags of ballast barley out of the tray and burned all four of those fucking tyres down to the cables,”
“Was it reckless and crude? Yes. Did it stimulate the economy? Yes.”
“If I got that lazy grand as a mortgage saving or a tax cut, I would’ve bought some Vanguard ETFs with it or better yet, spent it overseas,”
“I’m not an idiot.”
More to come.
