Normal Racist Feeling Like A Leftie After Conversation With Perth Racist

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Local racist, Blake (31, data entry) is fairly comfortable with people knowing that he thinks white people are superior and that migrants don’t assimilate properly.

That’s why he spends so much time on the internet berating asylum seeker advocates and pretty much anyone who tries to argue that African teenagers aren’t responsible for 95% of the violent crime in Australian cities.

Blake found himself 100% OK with his place on the fringe of the political spectrum, constantly arguing that his white ancestors built this country and that he in fact has strong ties to their cultural traditions of going to war for England and working in steel factories for forty years before dying from polio.

Blake knew exactly where he stood in the culture wars. And that was on the far-right, as an enemy of the left.

That was until he met Alan, a new neighbour who’s just moved here from Perth for a few months for work.

Unlike Blake, who is a normal racist, his new Western Australian acquaintance is the real deal. A Perth racist.

“Jesus Christ” said Blake after one vaguely political conversation.

“Did that guy just advocate for the water supplies in remote communities to be sterilised?”

“I’m pretty sure he declared his support for the White Australia policy about six times in that conversation. And we were supposed to be talking about the NBN?”

This revelation follows a report by the ABS that found Perth racists to be some of the most hectic in the world, with researchers putting down possible causes to the high influx of Afrikaans migrants since the end of Apartheid South Africa, and the general remoteness.

While many Perth residents detest the blanket label as a state of racists, with some of them even growing long hair and playing in bands (See: Tame Impala), the study found that Perth racists are way more dedicated to being racist than people from other states.

As for Blake, he says one conversation with Alan has him feeling like a bleeding heart leftie.

“I need to take a long hard look at myself” he says.

“What side am I on?”

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