MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
Offices around the country are preparing for a day filled with deceit, sabotage, and betrayal not seen since the power struggles in The Godfather tore families apart.
While most of corporate Australia is mildly excited about a couple of hours in the pub watching a horse race, two individuals are preparing to covertly undermine the happiness of the other.
Jasmine Young (31), a proud mother of three fur babies and a vocal animal rights advocate, has been subtly trying to start a revolution in her office from within for years.
“It’s kind of crazy that we still get half the day off just to watch some animals be forced to run around, don’t you think?” she said to a 55-year-old Egyptian IT guy who still has no idea what’s even going on.
Jasmine has long understood that her fight to stop an Australian office from getting drunk in the middle of the day is futile, and that to make change, she needs to discreetly get people on her side.
“It’s all about changing one mind at a time,” she explained.
During one of her proselytising sessions with a fellow colleague, Jasmine could hear her rival campaign unfolding just next door.
“Mate! Still keen for the cup!? I hear they have a sweet deal on margarita jugs! Want to go in on one? Would be so random, hahaha.”
The loud voice belonged to Hayden Cornwall (31), a lover of all things alcohol.
“This is one of the few sanctioned piss-ups that the office actually supports. It’s a huge day for guys like me,” he said.
Hayden is well aware of the threat that people like Jasmine pose to his special day, and he is constantly having to keep an eye out on who she talks to on days like this.
“Whenever I see her talking her animal rights shit to people in the office, I know I have to step in and bring up the person’s excitement.”
“I’m not letting her ruin this day for me,” he explained.
Despite most of the office being oblivious to the covert culture war being waged right under their noses, Hayden insists the stakes are high.
“All it takes is for the wrong opinion to be swayed, and this is done forever. This is about hearts and minds.”
