KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local personal trainer has unveiled a bold new look this week as he attempts to drum up interest in his latest entrepreneurial scheme.
Gary Vainschmuck, a 34 year old personal trainer from East Betoota, has become somewhat notorious in town for often being the first to market whatever pyramid scheme has rolled into the region.
Whilst operating his bootcamp business ‘Body by Gary’, which was previously known as ‘All G Fitness’ and ‘G Up Training” before that, Gary is known for often flogging some form of side hustle that usually involves essential oils, haircare or mushroom powders.
But with winter on the way, which is terrible for business given no one in Betoota wants to do burpees on frosty wet grass at 6am, Gary has had to revamp his usual park fitness operation and launch a 16 week ‘Simp to Spartan’ challenge, where he hopes to inspire 50 local blokes to shed a few kegs by August.
Given he’s pricing his challenge at an eye watering $109 a week for unlimited sessions of pushups and star jumps at Wally Lewis Oval, Gary reportedly decided to take a leaf out of Prime Minister Albo’s book and try to boost his perceived intellect with some reading glasses he bought off Temu.
“What do you think, does it look sciencey?” Gary asked his girlfriend, as he set up her portable LED makeup light in the home gym and prepared to film a piece to camera in front of a white board which he lifted from the council pick up outside of Betoota South Public School.
“I don’t think the stringlet is working though,” he lamented as checked his lats out in the mirror, “Maybe I’ll try my Brisbane Lions golf polo, that might make me look like a physio from a professional sports team.”
“I can probably even say the program is AFL accredited!”
More to come.
