EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
In some startling news, Australian pub rock icon Paul Kelly [68] has been hospitalised over the weekend, after a ‘fan’ thought they’d show some love by throwing an entire bucket of blistering hot gravy sauce on stage, while he performed at the Betoota Heights charity concert.
This comes as a concerning trend of musicians being hit by random objects has become an almost weekly report in the US, with Bebe Rexha, Harry Styles, Lil Nas X, Ava Max and P!nk all being targeted in the past two months.
Though the biggest injury occurred has been a black eye so far, it can now be reported that Paul Kelly will require multiple skin grafts due to how fresh and delicious the gravy was, with one of the doctors at Betoota Base Hospital revealing that the ‘dollop of tomato sauce for sweetness and that extra tang’ made the gravy especially dangerous.
The Advocate reached out to Kelly’s tour manager, Bill, to learn more.
“Look, if you’re going to throw objects at a musician, go to a fucking Chris Brown concert”, says Bill, “or you know what?”
“Don’t be a pussy, and throw shit at pop stars and older musicians.”
“Go to a One Four concert and do it, I fucking dare ya.”
“See how many teeth you walk home with.”
More to come.
