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A recent report by the Australian Bureau of Statistics has found that New Zealanders who live in Western Australia are by far the most New Zealander New Zealanders cutting around Australia.
This comes after a survey of the 569,540 New Zealand-born people living in Australia.
As it stands, Western Australia has the fourth largest population of Kiwis out of any state at 70,000 – however they are expected to topple Victoria (75,000) for third place over the next decade.
While the Queensland Kiwis carry a reputation as the strongest community in terms of numbers and profile, they are also recognised as the hybrid brand of Kiwi – known for adapting the cultural practices of their new home state.
‘QueeNZlander’ is a word used to describe an All Blacks fan who also supports the Maroons and has grown to resent cold weather.
However the ABS studies have found that any Kiwis facing the Indian Ocean are the most based of them all – a phenomena that has lead to Perth being nicknamed ‘West Auckland’ by its own residents.
Of the 70,000 Kiwis living in Perth, up to 65,000 were found to use the word ‘mean’ at least 6 times a day to describe something that is ‘good’.
Perth Kiwis also refer to any form of convenience store as a ‘dairy – and refuse to wear anything but All Blacks merchandise.
In fact, at the height of the mining boom, it was reported that every single Kiwi resident in Western Australia was either wearing hi-vis or All Blacks attire on the day of June the 16th, 2007.
This is not the only record held by this staunch community of isolated expats, with one Ellenbrook man currently holding the world record for the heaviest jade stone necklaces.
With 9.45 kilograms or pure green stone hanging around his neck, Jayden Kingi (33) says his Kiwiness can be intimidating to other Kiwis.
“Bro” he says.
“Even the Kiwis in Aotearoa”
“They are basically Australian compared to us mob”
“We keep it real over here”
However, Jayden does admit to the underlying shame that is shared by all Kiwis in the West. The fact that they can actually understand the rules of AFL.
“Yeah, I wish I didn’t know that shit. But it’s been hard to avoid. You ever turned on a TV over here?”
“Oi but”
“Dustin Martin, bro”
“he’s one of ours”
“Mean Maori Mean”
