ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Last night’s five-set epic between Nick Krygios and Frenchman Ugo Humbert was subject of an hour-long study today that concluded the nation wants more of this, please.
What this substance that the public wants more of is still subject to the investigation but early reports suggest it’s high-quality and exciting tennis between two young guns that ooze talent.
Speaking to our reporter briefly via telephone today, Professor Graham Watson of the nation’s peak scientific body, the CSIRO, said those early reports mentioned before are probably accurate.
“That French bloke is a fucken G,” said Professor Watson.
“Can’t wait to see him in action in the future but fucking hell, I got into bed thinking it was all over but our Kyng did the big lift and got me out of bed,”
“Sitting on the floor of the living room in the dark with the dog. The tele on mute because I live with people who obviously hate explosive tennis action. Mate, did you see it? How fucking good was it? I couldn’t go to sleep until 2, I was that amped up,”
“But yeah, tonight should be off the chain. A great night for sport.”
The results of Professor Watson’s investigation are available from the CSIRO website.
More to come.
